If you would have asked me the definition of the word “Mother” before I had kids, or even 6 months ago, I would have given a very different answer than I would today. I’m also positive in 6 months my definition today wouldn’t be the same. Truth is, the hardest part of motherhood is that you’re constantly learning and things move so quickly.
This post’s theme is, “They Call Me Mom AKA…Referee.” My daughters are 18 months apart, almost to the day, and I never understood how much I would play “referee” with my kids not only with each other but others they encounter at daycare, with family and just in public in general. Don’t get me wrong, they are for the most part very well behaved (knock on wood!) what I mean is not only making sure they are sharing and stepping in when they disagree, but also making sure that things are fair.
Some things I’ve learned…
SAME EXPERIENCE: Before I had my second I had the mindset that even though they were close in age I wasn’t buying two of everything. If they shared I though they would have more things to play with instead of duplicates. This is a reasonable idea in theory not in reality. Honestly, I’ve found it really depends on the item. My oldest has a her size comfy chair that she loves sitting in. She knows it’s her chair and it’s where she sits to relax. Therefore it made sense to buy our youngest her own chair. If it’s something they really like or has special meaning it seems to make life a lot easier to buy two, other things they can play with together I usually try to keep it to one.
STEPPING IN: I try my hardest to stay out of disagreements both in our home and outside…with in reason of course! I want my girls to learn how to work through interactions with other children without me getting involved and speaking for them. If another child takes a toy and they are ok with finding another toy, I’m ok too and don’t feel the need to get involved. Obviously if it escalates I’m right there, but the point is I won’t always be there and I want them to learn at a young age how to get through different types of situations.
BEING FAIR: This one is so hard and I struggle with feeling like it’s not always fair. One thing I will share is I’ve noticed with a child who is easygoing it can be easier to ask them to give in because they get over it quickly. I think it’s important to be mindful of this as they need to know their preference or wants matter too.
These are just some things that I’ve learned and I’m thinking about doing different variations of “They Call Me Mom AKA…” Is this something you would like to see? Leave your thoughts in the comments!
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